A friend of mine died today,
A while ago--I'm not sure.
I took pleasure in burying him,
My own hands picking up mud, covering.
Yet. I shed no tears;
For I do not feel I can cry.
I laughed plenty--oh merriment.
Though still my heart was laden.
A friend of mine keeps dying,
Sometime now--I'm sure.
I cannot even bury him,
For my own hands constrain me.
I cry aloud--tormented,
I do not even wonder if I can stop.
My joy is gone--oh how melancholic.
My mind has no time to comprehend.
A spot of mine remains vacant,
Surrounded by chasms...or the background,
I shift and turn-enveloped by caricatures,
Their seemingly pallid expression...in flux.
My friend came back,
I must run away.
For he changes my perception,
All I see is decay.
I must sit to ponder,
Why am I put asunder?
Consciousness fragmented,
Each part depleted.
Chess pieces arrayed,
Decisions to be made,
Infinite possibilities: information,
Overwhelming...debilitating.
Qc5...a blunder,
Just how can I possibly recover?
Perhaps I do not and move forward...
Or look back and calculate...reinforce and charge.......--->
Oh, my friend brought another,
and another...and another. OKAY STOP!
A warrior can go on for so long,
Encircled he loses morale.
Mental fatigue weighs in,
Then the physical exhausts, overpowers.
A wishing to retire from life...
A final bow, a "thank you" for playing this game.
Flowers given; a crown adorned...!no!...a wreath instead.
Were we willed to life? Or we willed for living?
There remains no escape,
For my friend has returned...he always does.
Therefore, I shall stand no more...
For I see him as a threat.
He is my friend for he belongs to me,
Yet I must continually purge him...
Fight him like an enemy,
Alas we remain in a contested battleground.
I see
An Eternal strife, for as long as I live.
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