The wolves gather around this man… teeth sharp and ready to bite. One can feel their snarl and hear their prancing hunger. The air palpitates… as if a hand is in one’s throat, caving in, crushing, and devouring the insides of a man. Is he unaware? For is danger not perceived? Is the human system not primed to fight, flee, or even freeze at its sight? How strange it is that one single person can be ignorant in the midst of calamity. Suppose a man in a den of wolves does not find weapons to protect himself… or perhaps climb a tree, if he can. In the process, does he not falter? Do his senses not fail him… or at times run haywire? [Hay no wire.] [Same thing]
That man is a second away from being bitten… I suppose he is a delicious treat… he turns around, and how can that be? Wait… did he lose sleep? For the wolves seem to now be human… in suits, some in tracksuits; one person is running naked? The others sit by a café… another is homeless… these are not wolves; they are human beings. Perhaps his mind played a trick on him, the fancies of those with anxiety… the type where there is a feeling of persecution, that the populace hates him. “Thank you for the coffee, Jane… just how I like it, not too hot nor cold… who even likes hot coffee,” he says. “Hot coffee? I don’t even like coffee, so I half-agree with you,” Jane says, laughing. Her laugh reverberates; I suppose she alone got the joke. As is custom, the customers look over to her… each eye grabs another, brings a friend to gossip… not the usual gossip, but a wandering. The man lets out a cackling laugh… not an awkward one, but the one where you’re lost… frozen and not sure how to respond. He waves goodbye to Jane, and so does she… but wait… were those… claws? Or just her extended uncut fingernails?
The man wonders to himself, “Man, ever since I took that pill… I realized just what things are. Am I still dreaming? In shock? Or is this world buffering?” Lost in his thoughts… seemingly aimlessly walking, he forgets that the light is not his… [HOOOONK] “Hey, pal… watch where you're going,” the driver yells, obviously speeding away.
[Where is this man going, you’re wondering? Well, where else does someone go on a thrifty Monday afternoon? To a Bible study… he’s an aspiring Christian.] “Good afternoon, Brother John… ahh brother Mark, BROTHER Lucas, brother Dustin,” greets the pastor to his members as they walk in. “Oh, my favorite couple, Linda and Joseph… how are you guys?” They reply, “We are fine, Pastor, just ready to get into the word today.” Today there seem to be twenty-five individuals… Some came from school, some from work, and some from God knows where. They all sit down and begin to sing… this time it is "Amazing Grace." Oh, how sweet that sounds. After that wonderful opening song, the pastor exclaims, “Please bow your heads and close your eyes; we will now enter into our opening prayer.” The man swears he feels all eyes staring at him, as if, though all heads are bowed and all eyes closed, there seems to be some aspect of their vision that is not blinded. He squints his eyes… slightly opening them… [THUMP] [THUMP] [THUMP] the sound of his heart goes… for WHAT IS THAT? Why are the pastor and the congregation slowly transforming into beasts? Each with their fangs protruding… “AMEN,” he suddenly hears as the pastor concludes. Quickly, he flings his eyes awake, taken aback, for all… are… normal.
“Today’s topic is about love… what is love? I am not talking solely about love for our wives… but love for each other and humanity,” the pastor opens up. The Apostle Paul tells us somewhere that, “If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing,” he retorts. “Does someone want to detail what this means?” he asks, staring at each and every single member. BROTHER John begins, “Well, some of us think that giving to the poor is enough, but we have to love them. You can do a good deed, but it means nothing to God if there is no love. Imagine if Satan saved your baby from death; would you be all buddy-buddy with him?” They ponder… each… the wheel turning in their heads, seeking to comprehend what is being said. [It’s very simple…] “AHHH!” they say in unison. I mean, it seems like a maxim… that each should be aware of now. “I agree, but what do we mean by love? And what does Christ mean when he says love thy neighbor?” A scrawny kid exclaims. His name is Anthony. Smart, I guess. “Well, I will say this: the word love is often vague. In society, it seems to be solely a feeling, that one loves someone so long as there is a feeling… and when it is gone… POOF… so are they. For the church, it seems to be loving someone in the way God sees us; even that is unclear,” the man says. “Go on,” Brother Mark retorts… “Yeah, what do you mean by even the definition of the Church is unclear?” someone else asks.
“Well, take the common verse in 1 Corinthians that says ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.’ We take it and apply it to everything. Oh, you wish to know if your husband loves you? Simply paste this verse on him… God forbid he fails at one point; then he doesn't love you,” the man says. “But hold on, that is love; those are attributes; are you saying it is not love?” someone else exclaims. “I am not in the least saying that. Love extends into these things, but is it not possible for an artificial fruit to bear these fruits as well? My point is that it is a matter of viewing; how does the person truly view you?” the man says. “But how can it ever be that we know how someone views us, if not by these principles?” someone questionably asks him. “Well, I say that we do not love… or between man and man, there can never be a thing as love… in fact, I think the Apostle was quite speaking of God, that only God can truly love us, and his love is expressed there,” the man says. “Well, my friend, you seem to be saying something deep and at once alarming, for if Christ commanded us to love our neighbors, it must be possible for a man to love another man?” the pastor asks him. This time he brings a chair to himself and sits down amongst the people. “It all hangs on the definition of love; the Church seems to be trying to love others as God loves them, but look at the history of the church: all crusades, wars, conquests… slavery for crying out loud. Look at our modern churches, nepotism, hierarchy, that structure of power that hinders a child of an elder to succeed, while the child of the commoner is despised… What love is that? All speak of 1 Corinthians, but blindly they act contrary and at once they abide by the command,” says the man, seemingly out of breath.
“You seem to only be pointing out the crack in human nature, that we are in a fallen world… all of us. Your definition of love seems to require so much that we cannot fulfill it… none of us can,” the pastor says to him. At this point, everyone starts to shake their heads. “God, I know I do wrong,” the scrawny kid says. Everyone, afraid of admitting, simply shakes their heads in agreement… looking at the ground… eyes fixated as if pondering or seeing their memories projected. “Well, that is exactly why I do not believe we can love, at least not in the way that we think. This love we speak of to others seems heavenly, that we turn the other cheek, and we ought to be kind… but how can there be love if one is constantly on guard? How can I believe that the church loves me if I must be on guard… that they do not manipulate, take their vengeance upon me? And who am I to speak for how many times have I, like you, harmed another precious... seemingly precious soul?” the man says, himself bowing his head, just like the rest. “Amen, my friend, that is simply the truth,” they all agree.
The pastor then gets a lightbulb moment, not an idea, but a thought… a word of wisdom. He begins, “This is what it means to love our neighbors: to sacrifice ourselves for them like Christ did for us… to see them as all broken, and to come near to them, giving them life… we are all a mirror of Christ and must therefore act as he. We are all broken, but it is the brokenness that brings us together,” [YEAH TO HUNT!] [‘What was that? Says the mind in his mind? Hey… you… yes you reading, you heard that right? Brokenness brings us together? Something fishy is going on here, but at the same time he’s right.] “And in that brokenness, we thrive and help one another. We should be open with that brokenness,” he concludes. The scrawny kid ponders, then he asks, “But… my dad says if you’re open with your brokenness, people will rip you up… just like that, they will take your vulnerability and toy with it… even them church folks.” Mark picks up, “Yeah, kid… especially if you’re a guy. Women have the luxury of speaking about anything they want… complaining, or even crying… pssh… let me cry over my son taking his first step and now I'm called a ‘bitch’... oh, excuse my language.” The crowd… their eyes scanned him… was that a slight snarl? “My friend, it's a slip; continue,” the pastor reassures him. “Yeah, I'm sorry, guys. But that’s my question: even in church you cannot be vulnerable. Then they ask about testimonies and to share what God has done… now if a woman said ‘I used to sleep with men day and night,’ they will start to call her a… this word is in the Bible somewhere now, ‘whore.’ I mean, it is ridiculous… I'm done now,” Mark concludes… retreating within himself.
“I agree with him wholeheartedly. Society will rip you up, chew you for the smallest thing you do… and even the biggest. At least they do it to your face. The church invites you to open up and plays a game with your words… yet they respect you. I realize this much. They speak against sex before marriage but respect the person with a high body count… it does not make any sense to me; ever since I was young I’ve wondered why,” the enigmatic Dustin exclaims.“Ahh, yes, disillusionment… I’ve had my fair share of bouts with that. It is not hypocrisy; it is simply a cognitive dissonance of the soul. We say one thing in an extreme way, sort of idealistically… yet when we really encounter it, we are extinguished. This is why I disagree with the entire love nonsense: we speak of it idealistically… to love our neighbor… that we ought to be like Christ, but none of us are,” the man says. Oddly, his tone seems to be much more vulgar, making the congregation squirm in their seats… as if their bottoms are being pricked, ready to up and run. He continues, “This world is a contest of interests. We each have our own interests and wish to see them come to light. We will harm whoever comes in our way; for some of us, we will store the words of another, their vulnerabilities, in order to use it against them; for many, there is an enjoyment in seeing the downfall of a group of people, to satisfy some urge for blood. I will, on my end, always be aware of people… Christian or not. The Church is not the family that we think… All of us are sick, and indeed part of the body of Christ… but we mask the politics that occur in church, the hate… it is not a family as we think, but one that we conceive to pacify ourselves. Brother today, enemy always, ‘friend’ everlastingly,” he ends.
Wow… a powerful statement. One must ponder; there is a kernel of truth. Though we forget that we too can be disillusioned about what it means to be a Christian. It is not that all is well with us, but that we are on a path of betterment. A Christian struggles with drugs, debasement, debauchery, and God knows what. Perhaps we have misunderstood the life of a Christian. Still, there are some who would argue, “Are you giving a pass for people to sin? That is not of the Spirit…” Alas, they too forget the nature of human beings… to err. It may not be in one sin, but definitely in another. It may not be today, but definitely tomorrow. This is not a call to continue, but to realize. “I took a pill yesterday,” the man begins to confess, “I see everything for what it is. You do not have to hide before me anymore, for I see you are all wolves… or at least you buffer between a wolf and sainthood… I'm not sure what it is. I am not crazy. I know and you know,” he closes off. They stammer… each gulp and asks him to explain. The pastor utters, “My friend, just because you have been hurt in the past does not mean you can dump that on us. This world is brutal, but we must overcome it with love.” [Ridiculous.] “Yes, indeed it is a brutal world, a dog-eat-dog world, but we must be brutal… or have the capacity for cruelty. This is the true message,” the man responds. “What heresy! Christ never said to be cruel… we are to be like sheep, docile… a friend to mankind,” one says in the congregation. “Yeah,” they all agree. “If this is how you act, then you shall be overtaken. One does not discredit Christ when they exclaim we too must be dangerous. For if we live among humans, we will encounter their snares… you want me to give up, pray away the fight? Drop my weapons and then what? Be overtaken by this mob? This mob who sniffs weakness and, like bloodthirsty wolves, attack? I disagree,” he angrily replies.
“We must overcome this evil world with good, my friend. We mustn't play tit-for-tat; like it is said, ‘an eye for an eye leaves the world blind,’ Christ showed us this by overcoming evil on the cross,” the pastor pleads. “Well, I do not refuse, but we must bring our swords just in case… I do not speak of bringing evil into this world… our intentions and actions towards our fellow humans must be good, and indeed an expression of God’s love… but we must also be ready for war. We cannot sit idly and pray away this fight… it is necessary for as long as we live… I know you are all wolves,” he says while getting up… slowly backing away from the group… Each time he blinks, he swears he can see them as ACTUAL WOLVES.
“What has gotten into this one?” someone from the crowd says… “he’s acting strange… he probably took drugs… he did speak of a pill,” another shouts. The pastor gets up, seeking to calm this person, but he pulls away… his fingers on the hinges of the door, ready to walk away. “My friend, tell me why you are acting like this?”
“The gospel is true. The bride of Christ is indeed for Christ. Yet in society and in the church, I encounter human nature. Both ask me to be a certain way, an idealistic version. Both wish for me to conform to their ideas; still, they are disillusioned. My issue is, why continue with expressing those maxims and ideas, when you yourselves do not abide by them…” he looks at his hands, trembling, “when I myself… do not act on them… I’m a wolf as well… and I have been trying to hide from it,” he ends.
The pastor slowly approaches and says, “This is all the flesh talking. Do not act like society simply because they seem hypocritical.”
“It is not hypocrisy; society is blinded by its nature. I realize now that I must curb that nature, not extinguish it… you all lied to me. I find myself in a den of wolves—so I ask you, how must I be? Every waking second I am this close to being devoured… for if they catch a scent of kindness, love, or God knows what… they seek to overpower me. I do not adopt pride as a character; I adopt it as a circumstantial need for an environment. Many of you, and many in society, will despise me… or have, simply because I express what they hide. They pummel me because I am visibly what they cover. The wolves play by explicit rules, and implicit ones too; all of this talk of virtue, kindness, community… underlying all these are selfish ambitions, implicit… yet they come to the surface at times. As for me, I make no distinction and act as I wish. They merely hate me for not creating a distinction, for doing explicitly what they do implicitly,” he concludes. He opens the door and walks into freedom… or really?
We can conclude: Tous les humains sont des hommes, mais ce ne sont pas tous les hommes qui sont humains.
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