Whether willfully ignorant
Carelessly, recklessly--or,
Perhaps, naturally unaware of,
Stubbornness finds its way surely.
A case of lack of discipline?
Precious days flowing down a drain,
Slowly marring one's living-days.
All in all, watching it whisk away.
And yet the face begins to rain--
Uncontrollably, they seek to change.
Nights are spent ruminating,
Days are spent non-being.
There is hope to change, to act.
To live a life calmly,
The need to assuage one's existence,
To steer from the troubles of doings.
A stubborn Christian,
A defect of character? or--
Perhaps, a defect of will, so natural.
Still, they wish, pray and seek transformation.
Shh...God still calls them, listen.
And they say, "sustain me, Lord!"
Everyone has their weaknesses, an Achilles heel.
Yet some are more potent than others.
Days spent skeptically,
They doubt truly--listen, "Am I truly he?"
Perhaps a mistake has been made--a waste it is,
Is this the whisper of that sneaky devil, Imposter Syndrome?
There is an omnipotent God, always being.
One who views his time in entirety--
Past-present, Present, present-Future simultaneously.
Still God whispers his promises to him--
Freewill or the case of determinism?
Are the decrees of God absolute?
Or can man thwart the plans of this God?
Squandering the things God has for them?
God is fully aware of every part of our being,
Our weaknesses lay bare before him,
Not one, or two, or three--but many.
Still God says, "persevere ever more child."
"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
----Isaiah 41:10”
He hears often that phrase,
It echoes everywhere, "I am with you."
Yet, how can I trust that you will not depart,
I swear! I try to not doubt, I simply fear myself.
Can their stubbornness overrule your power?
Or perhaps it is the other way? Your power conquers theirs.
The same way grace much abounds where there is much sin,
Is it that your power much abounds where there is much weakness?
I can never know anything,
Perhaps even dumb founded,
Blame to be sown here and there...
An attempt to abandon what you've decreed.
I seem to be stuck in your event horizon,
For I can never escape you--daily drawn back,
You're my sustainer--my hope is in you,
Ironic! as I seem to draw it from thee.
Anxiety seems to surround me,
They draw for battle, seeking to devour thine,
In seeking to move, I remain still.
But how can it be? to move and not move at once.
In the midst of all darkness,
There is a piercing light,
There is a hand which reaches out,
A heart which tugs mine too.
My legs are frail, my being fragile.
Yet whatever trust I have left, I put in you.
The journey seems long, with no rest in sight.
However, they all join in unison.
They weep and pray,
"May my stubbornness never overtake you.
Hold onto me like a mother does to her young.
Be with me as you were with the others."
Be my daily bread,
Uphold me like you do of existence,
Be unto me a father,
Promise to never let me go, audibly.
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