“Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 9:9.)
It is not a mystery that we once shall be no more, nor is it a mystery that as time passes by…so do many woes. While we remain in the present two things seem true, that we are holding the dials of time in our favor, and we are speeding up the flow of time for our benefit. In one, we seek to enjoy life as much as possible, not wanting to be harmed–as much pleasure can be derived. At once, we seek to rid of our pains, anxieties, fears, and trauma by wishing time would just fly. This seems and is a draining existence…at the basis of such one can attribute a genuine desire to live life, to enjoy it as much as possible–and thus the tendency to hold onto peaceful moments.
There comes a time in my life where I truly wonder what the need to think is for…to realize hiddenly obvious truths, the physics of life, set laws about human nature that society seems to make obsolete, and a constant melancholic realization that life is brutal, life goes on, life hurts, and life is an antagonizing force that simply does not have our best interest at heart. The stoics speak of the fear of death, and how one must overcome it–from there comes freedom…jubilation. However, what of a mind that constantly ponders about the hard facts of life? That yes, work hard, play hard, enjoy life as one might, we seem to do these to stave off the ideas that 1) We will one day be no more, and 2)We carry heavy baggage; be it by overworking, over-playing, over-thinking, and even under-thinking, different ways to combat the same problem…to seek to pacify, for in the end who can protect one against the cold hard truth?
I suppose that is why there is within human nature a need to create a heaven, a hereafter where life does not end–where justice is given, freedom reinstated, love reigns supreme, and we do not have to run to addiction to soothe us. Perhaps too why the religious puts such a high price on detachment from this life, and attachment to an eternal world, a kingdom of soul–not body. To me it is ironic, as the body and the spirit is what makes us a soul…but I comprehend what is being said.
As it is said, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19-21.) I suppose everything in the hereafter is immune to the corruption of the here…a kingdom where if our hearts are on it, will lead to us being alive, not being tied down to the falsities that this world offers, nor the wanton search for something to fill us at any given moment…a kingdom that calls us to a higher calling, a higher quality of desire, and to build on principles that are truly ennobling.
This is all good in theory, but I remain still—still a sinner, still wretched, dry, longing, burning, anxious, happy, content, discontent, stable, unstable, aroused, angry, curious…all in all human, experiencing a wide variety of emotions and living life as it comes, no matter how I make of it. Therefore, yes the kingdom of God has come…but we must be honest, it does not stop us from feeling depressed and suicidal…yes God is with us, that does not hinder us from wanting to give up on life. All to say, and we to the beginning, the mind still brings us to one conclusion, that 1) This is life is a degradation of the life to come and 2) The things we enjoy, and the things that fill us in this life…truly do not, or rather the quality of the things we enjoy. Hence, Solomon at the end of his life realizes that, urging us to choose purpose, to choose to live in a way that steers us away from danger…that yes we can still enjoy life, but in a way that does not make us regret the choices we have made. I am still learning this, still combating many tendencies within me…and so should you.
I’ve come to realize that for every action, for every thought this world has, there is a counterpart that is pure. Sex is the best case, society seems to trivialize it, as mere feelings—and the fulfillment of a person. Ironically, such a view degrades the true enjoyment of it. I shall write about this later, so be not worried. However, a pure conception of sex as being a dance, something where you give yourself unrestricted to someone, with a desire to feed the other person, to take from their tree and maximally enjoy their fruits. To take from your tree and nourish the other’s soul. A dance, an orchestra, a symphony…this is how it's supposed to be. The same act, but because one is built on a much grander, selfless principle…it becomes much more and truly enjoyable. It is sad that the Christian Church has demonized sex, it is as well despairing that society has mechanized it, stripping its essential parts, and…in truth making it bland.
So yes, life seems meaningless, and we seek to find meaning…and though we find purpose, it does not hinder our minds from wondering what lies beyond…from observing suffering and wondering what is wrong with this world…for though we have enjoyments, we seek to go to a better place…though we are wealthy, would give up all of it just to be freed from this existence.
You ask: The goal?
Me: *Echoing Solomon* Live a purpose driven life. Enjoy the wife/husband of your life. Find God and allow him to continue developing you, be patient with the self, and when those thoughts of melancholy kick it, wrestle not with it…for that is what this life offers. As far as we know, we are simply passing by. This entails living life as you see fit, built on good principles, for someone’s “best sees fit,” turns into deep hurt, regret, and pain. We should also consider that even if life can seem meaningless, it can seem difficult…but a life built on great principles, and from a pure heart…is enjoyable.
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