Introduction
I normally begin my writings by expressing that I am not perfect–and thus adopt the same ground as everyone else. However, I shall cease to do so for it is implied in me being human. Why exactly did I adopt the stance of expressing my imperfection? I realize that apart from humility and a deep recognition of my sins, I was trying to quell the voice of the crowd who often utter “But are you yourself perfect? Are you not like us?” Thus, I do not care anymore. I really do not. I realized that many who respond as such are a distraction to the overall message and thus not need to be worried about. In whatever work that is being done there will always be a few non-truth seeking dissenting voices, who wish to observe and call for the head of the one who works…or the ones who work. These people I do not worry myself over, though my hand is ever extended to bring them on a path that leads them to salvation—if they choose it.
I am (though I do not will it) of the same disposition that Gandalf expressed to Frodo: “Many that live deserve death and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be so eager to deal out death in judgement.” As hard as it is, I am a strict humanist. I doubt, I anger, I die, I live, and am hurt by that. Each day I find a reason to abandon that code and every other day I find a reason to not abandon it. Humankind in all of their glory is capable of the worst atrocities; yet in their worst moments you can find a glimmer of goodness.
Why are you a Christian?
Now time to get at the heart of the matter. Were I to ask you “Why are you a Christian?” What would your response be? I can guess that it falls into two categories: 1) I do not want to go to hell, thus I must find Christ and be saved. 2) Christ has helped me to become a better person and thus I lean on him. Whenever I speak with Christians one of the two is the answer I am given. However I challenge you to ask yourself, is there not a better way? One that is truly fulfilling and liberating…one where you truly seek this Savior not out of fear, shame, and guilt but true love…for his intrinsic quality AND the ensuing life he brings. I can hear one of you saying “why does it matter what people do, let them live life,” if that is the case then I can assure you this is not for you. I however sympathize with another group of people, one who (I am grateful for them) say this “for some people Christ is their everything, when that is challenged it is as if they themselves are challenged.” This is an idea that has haunted my waking and sleeping; does it matter what I think if people are living a “good” life, “seeking” God, and at least living? However, I ask myself, if someone in chains regards it as liberty, would it not be the purpose of a friend to call that person to truly live? I mean Christians argue it always, that the world is an arid land, nothing grows on it; that the pleasures of this life (which destroy us) are the same ones we run to. I argue further, the Church, at least from my experiences, is becoming arid…to the point where I do not know what it is nowadays.
You will have a few individuals who argue “You are slandering the Bride,” then insert here and there a few bible verses. For those people I issue a caution, that Bride does not equal Christ. Further, if this Bride (as you yourselves) argue is made up of sinners, therefore it is in need of being closely guarded. For crying out loud, the history of this Bride is not a clean one…there is blood on our hands. The terrain I navigate is so complex thus for one might seek to isolate me or define me with an ideology based on what I’ve said, to that I say “Good Luck,” for you do not know what I believe unless I tell you.
The issue of a myopic gospel is not new, it is the currency of the day. The Gospel is now this: Man sin, God die, God live, Man can live and not sin, join Church, read Bible, avoid hell. Though in essence the Gospel is CENTERED on the death and resurrection of Christ, it is by no means restricted to that. We often forget there is a call to love each other, to grow and mature as believers, to care for one another, and to LOVE ULTIMATELY. This issue of love is one that is misunderstood in the Church. No it is not a warm feeling for every human being, but a call to see every human being the same as us–even if they are gay, lesbian, transgender; even if they are black, white, or green; even if they are rich or poor. This love indeed calls for us to serve our neighbor (while being watchful, while being wise, while being cautious.) It calls for the spread of the good news, but what is the good news nowadays?
A question for you to ponder over, if Christ is to be followed because he is an escape from hell and he is the way to overcome sin, I must ask you, what do you make of many atheists, muslims, and others who are on that same road of seeking virtue? The same road of overcoming their sins?
Performative Empathy
I find it a sad reality that many Christians cannot be empathetic to another suffering soul
without uttering a bible verse, or somehow taking it as a chance for evangelism. Say what you may but I find that to be a performative “kindness, love, empathy” for your primary goal does not seem to be sharing in the sorrow of a fellow human being, but rather to gain them to your side. To those who say such a thing as “Christ can fix all your worries, God can heal everything, Christ can fix all your situations,” I ask you, when one comes to Christ the notion is that we suffer even more, how do you reconcile that with what you say? Secondly, What do you make of this world that is inherently filled with pain and suffering? Where is God in all of this? I do not speak to be irreverent, but simply to ask a question that allows us to see the nuances in this thing we call life. This thing that I have no idea what it is we are experiencing. This life where the connection between two neurons is enough to make you wonder about the complexity of existence. Let me not even discuss things like consciousness, freewill, intelligence, music, mathematics, and etc. All of this is to say we often reduce life to mechanical terms; be it with this entire debate between men and women: That men are this and women are that; be it with our conception of what exists; be it with religion and this ritualistic-performative stance we have of it. A stance that does not allow us to grasp the magnificence, awe, terrifying, and anxiety producing picture of what it means to be alive.
Yes, existing is brutal–I have suffered much and you have suffered much. Some suffer more and some suffer less. My position, one that I think about daily, does not seem sweet…for I am daily confronted with life unadulterated; pondering about what is and is not; refusing any analgesic, for these do not help once you’ve awoken to what living is. However, like Caesar said “Alea iacta est (The die is cast.)” Thus we move on and experience it, there is no other way. Reducing it to a bunch of rules and regulations; to a plethora of sayings does not bring us anywhere. We do not live in that way but atrophy our ability to grasp whatever it is God has for us.
A Better Way
I propose that we can live a better life, one that is grounded and truly fulfilling, while bound to Christ. Religion is not to be used as a crutch…but it must itself be the thing that rids of us crutches, to walk through life, not hiding behind dogmas, but attentive, alert, learning, and experiencing. I am prepared for those of you who say: it is a relationship! To which I must ask, what kind of relationship yields fruits if it is grounded on fear and a constant worry of the end times? I am cautious of those who exclaim that statement, and no this is not mockery, but what else can you offer other than a statement that this is the end times and we must run to God? What happens next? That we must now live a life without sin? Good, now how do you address the daily troubles that some face, sexual urges that must be fought, and a life that we must live in now?
This world will end, and Christ will indeed come. However, the coming of Christ is not primarily the Second Coming, it is when you die. Fear mongering, hell and fire, myopicness, and an over zealous spirit will drive us far from Christ and indeed have. What else can Christ offer?
I do not here take a commanding tone nor accusatory, but one of compassion and understanding and empathy. There are many with zeal who truly find Christ to be sweet, and are calling others to find him. However you must ask yourself, what damage does uncontrolled zeal do to the gospel?
I am on a quest for truth, thus if you disagree with the contents in this questionative-essay, feel free to discuss it. I do not claim a monopoly on truth for I am a limited human being. However, what I know to be true is that this journey of life and the Christian life offers more than a fear-based gospel.
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